Rumination occurs when you have constant and repetitive thoughts about something; typically, a problem or situation. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, rumination is defined as “obsessive thinking about an idea, situation, or choice especially when it interferes with normal mental functioning.” This happens to be one of the most daunting obstacles I face each day. It has…
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Self Love – Step 5: Identify Your Triggers
It is very hard for me to accept that 95% of my responses are controlled by my self consciousness. It is so easy to get triggered and allow my auto pilot to instantly take over. How many times have you reacted to something before you even reallized it? An invisible button gets pushed and you…
Self Love – Step 4: Document Your Timeline
I am a big advocate for write it down to get it out. When recovering from trauma, it can feel like we can’t think, we get confused and we can experience cognitive dissonance. Charting our past on a timeline can help. I use mine as a tool for several things. It allows me to back…
Self Love – Step 3: Study, Research & Deep Dive
We are living in a time where help and information is only a few clicks away! Data is readily available to us and this season is the time to use it to its fullest to learn and grow. I always promote the Bible first. But when I am upset and in despair, it can be…
Self Love – Step 2: Take an Honest Inventory
Sometimes we just need to do a self check with ourselves. How can we know our value if we don’t know who we are? I have done a lot of questioning my worth and taking stock of who I know myself to be. What I will and won’t stand for and how I refuse to…
Self Love – Step 1: Establish Your Support System
The one thing that I can’t say enough is love yourself by finding and cultivating your support system. Find at least 3 people whom will fill the following needs: Be Honest with You! It is essential that you find someone you know will be truthful with you no matter what. Absolutely no “Yes Men”. Love…
Purge
Based on my experience, I have encountered (3) types of Purges during my separation / divorce process: Spiritual Purge – Spirit (forgivness for myself and my husband) Physical Purge – Home / Environmenet (my safe place with boundaries) Mental / Emotional Purge – Heart / Mind (acceptance of the situation, loss and outcome) Each one…
Accepting and coming to grips with a harsh reality…
For the last thirty years, I have poured myself out willingly. Doing so is what comes natural for me. I have always been willing to recalibrate, learn, change, and adapt for the people I love. Never did I not think those who professed their love for me wouldn’t do the same for me. My entire…
Me and My Two Dads
In the 80s, there was a television sitcom with this title. Everytime it came on, I wished the concept of having two dads was that simple. Truth is, I only had one dad but he suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and this made his seem like two completely different people at times. As I have stated…
What is a Codependency? Recognizing the Signs
I highly recommend reading the article listed below. It provides great insights as to how to identify codepenendency. You will see me refer to myself as a “Confirmed Codependent”. This is not a label that has been provided by any medical professional. I labeled myseslf with this moniker. I see the issue and am determined…